Quantity vs Quality

As a working woman who's now pregnant, the debate over whether to be a working mom or a stay-at-home mom (which of course is just a different kind of work) is particularly poignant. The topic was discussed yesterday on an Oprah Show and it certainly hits close to home for me.

The thing I took away the most is how extremely sad it is that there's such judgement. I don't understand how women can make gross generalizations about whether all women should stay at home or all women should work. I just don't see it like that. Assuming there is a choice (that financial circumstances don't make it such that she can't choose between staying at home and working) I think it's up to each woman and family to decide what's best for them. Why does it have to be a black and white issue? It's not either/or. Why does there have to be judgement that one way works for everyone, and if you don't subscribe to that then you're wrong? I think there are plenty of amazing children who grow up to be great adults who come from both types of families.

I feel like there's definitely this underlying feeling that if a woman chooses to work, that in someway she loves her children less. I just don't believe that's true. I think that's unfair to working moms. There are plenty of children (and now adults) who grew up with working parents who felt completely loved, and didn't feel empty or un-whole. Sure, there are sacrifices, but that's true in every family. They're just different sacrifices.

For me, the take home point is that it's about QUALITY and not quantity. Just because a mom stays at home doesn't mean she's completely connected to her children, and just because a mom works doesn't mean she's not completely connected to her children. And vice versa! It's about how the time that you are together is spent. Any woman, whether she stays at home or works outside the home, who is unfulfilled and hasn't taken care of her 'Self' isn't going to be connected or 'in tune' with her children, no matter how much or little time she spends with them. So it's up to each woman to figure out what the best way is for her, and their family.

So can we please stop placing judgement or blame on each other and just respect each other's right to choose? Wasn't that the whole point of the feminist movement???

Knock, knock. Who's there?

Last night Handsome Hubby and I felt Mr. Peanut 'kick' for the first time! It was an amazing thing to feel. Up until now, I've just been feeling subtle tickles or 'butterflies' on a very occasional basis. But last night, I was definitely poked!

I was laying in bed last night, on my side, and I felt a little something. I just thought, 'Hmmm... I wonder if that was what I think it was..." I rolled over to my back and a few seconds later, I felt a definite poke! I grabbed HH's hand and put it on my belly, just in case he'd act up again. As HH said, "Nah, you're too early" he kicked again! We just looked at each other in amazement. HH put his ear right to my belly, and a minute later he kicked again! And as quick as it happened, he was done. No more entertainment for the night (at least not before I fell asleep), but that was more than enough to put me on cloud nine for all of today! I just can't wait to go back to bed tonight!

Mr. Peanut

According to our latest ultrasound (Dec 21) it's Mr. Peanut, not Miss. Peanut. I have to admit that it has taken me a bit to get used to the idea of having a little boy. It's probably not uncommon, but I was (and still am a bit) nervous about having a boy... wondering if I'll be able to relate to a boy, and really be able to understand what he's going through. But the more time that goes by (and the more reassurance I get from friends), the more comfortable I become. Yes, there are differences between boys and girls, and I'm sure there will be things that I can't relate to, but 1. that's why he has a dad! and 2. the important things, the important lessons in life, are gender neutral. Plus, little boy clothes are so darn cute! Hee hee. :)

Several people have told me that boys are tougher to raise in the beginning, but are easier than girls later on (in the teenage years). If he's anything like one of my male cousins though, I better get comfortable with the local E.R. now! I guess time will tell...